Monday, July 7, 2008

THE JOKE OF THE DAY MONDAY JULY 7, 2008

Santa and Banta after working for 10 years in Germany decide to return to India. Both decide to get German cars as momentos.
Santa finds Beatle a different looking car and buys it without checking.
Banta also lands up at Beatle dealer who fools him by saying This car has a spare engine in dicky. Banta buys that car without checking the front engine.
Months down the line Banta finds sad looking Santa on the road searching for something next to his car. Asks him "what are you looking for?"
Santa says "I think I lost my engine..."
Banta says "I have a spare engine in my dicky you can use it till you find it..."
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Sunday, July 6, 2008

THE JOKE OF THE DAY SUNDAY JULY 6, 2008

After reading a tender notice for tunnel across English Channel Santa and Banta submitted their bid. Since their bid was lowest they were called for an interview.
The authorities asked them how they are going to do it?
Banta said "very simple I will start digging from French side and Santa will dig from English side, we will meet in midway to complete the tunnel."
One of the panalists counter questioned "what if you two don't meet?"
Santa said "you don't worry about it, in that case you will have two tunnels..."
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QUOTE OF THE DAY

OSHO IN ONE OF HIS DISCOURSE:

Beloved marter, I feel shocked when you used the word fuck what to do?
Sargamo, it is one of the most beautiful words. The English language should be proud of it. I don't think any other language has such a beautiful word. One Tom from California has done some great research on it. I think he must be the famous Tom of Tom, Dick and Harry fame. He says: One of the most interesting words in the English language today is the word 'fuck'. It is one magical word: just by its sound it can describe pain, pleasure, hate and love. In language it falls into many grammatical categories. It can be used as a verb, both transitive (John fucked Mary) and intransitive (Mary was fucked by John), and as a noun (Mary is a fine fuck). It can be used as an adjective (Mary is fucking beautiful). As you can see there are not many words with the versatility of 'fuck'. Besides the sexual meaning, there are also the following uses: Fraud: I got fucked at the used car lot. Ignorance: Fucked if I know.Trouble: I guess I am fucked now! Aggression: Fuck you! Displeasure: What the fuck is going on here? Difficulty: I can't understand this fucking job. Incompetence: He is a fuck-off. Suspicion: What the fuck are you doing? Enjoyment: I had a fucking good time.Request: Get the fuck out of here!Hostility: I am going to knock your fucking head off!Greeting: How the fuck are you? Apathy: Who gives a fuck? Innovation: Get a bigger fucking hammer. Surprise: Fuck! You scared the shit out of me! Anxiety: Today is really fucked. And it is very healthy too. If every morning you do it as a Transcendental Meditation -- just when you get up, the first thing, repeat the mantra "Fuck you!" five times -- it clears the throat. That's how I keep my throat clear!Enough for today.

FUNNY DEFINATIONS OF THE DAY

School: A place where Father pays and Son plays.

Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.

Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.

Marriage: It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.

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