Showing posts with label Santa. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Santa. Show all posts

Monday, March 7, 2016

The Joke of the Day, Monday, 7th March, 2016

On his Birthday, Santa was really upset because none of his family 
members or near and dear ones wished him. 

As he walked into his office, his secretary Gurpreet said, 
"Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday! 

" He felt a bit better knowing that at least someone remembered. 

In the lunch time Gurpreet knocked on his door and said, 

"You know, it's such a beautiful day outside, and it's your Birthday, 
why don't we go out for lunch, just you and me." 

Santa happily agreed .They had their lunch but on the way back to the office, 
Gurpreet said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day... 

We don't have to go right back to the office, do we?" 

Santa replied "I suppose not. What do you have in mind?" 
She said, "Let's go to my apartment, it's just around the corner." 

After arriving at her apartment, Gurpreet said, "Boss if you don't mind, 
I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I'll be right back." 
"Ok." He nervously replied. 

She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes; 

She came out carrying a huge birthday cake... Followed by his wife, his kids, 
Banta, his wife and dozens of his friends, and co-workers, all singing "Happy Birthday". 

And Santa just sat there... On the couch... Naked!

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QUOTE OF THE DAY

OSHO IN ONE OF HIS DISCOURSE:

Beloved marter, I feel shocked when you used the word fuck what to do?
Sargamo, it is one of the most beautiful words. The English language should be proud of it. I don't think any other language has such a beautiful word. One Tom from California has done some great research on it. I think he must be the famous Tom of Tom, Dick and Harry fame. He says: One of the most interesting words in the English language today is the word 'fuck'. It is one magical word: just by its sound it can describe pain, pleasure, hate and love. In language it falls into many grammatical categories. It can be used as a verb, both transitive (John fucked Mary) and intransitive (Mary was fucked by John), and as a noun (Mary is a fine fuck). It can be used as an adjective (Mary is fucking beautiful). As you can see there are not many words with the versatility of 'fuck'. Besides the sexual meaning, there are also the following uses: Fraud: I got fucked at the used car lot. Ignorance: Fucked if I know.Trouble: I guess I am fucked now! Aggression: Fuck you! Displeasure: What the fuck is going on here? Difficulty: I can't understand this fucking job. Incompetence: He is a fuck-off. Suspicion: What the fuck are you doing? Enjoyment: I had a fucking good time.Request: Get the fuck out of here!Hostility: I am going to knock your fucking head off!Greeting: How the fuck are you? Apathy: Who gives a fuck? Innovation: Get a bigger fucking hammer. Surprise: Fuck! You scared the shit out of me! Anxiety: Today is really fucked. And it is very healthy too. If every morning you do it as a Transcendental Meditation -- just when you get up, the first thing, repeat the mantra "Fuck you!" five times -- it clears the throat. That's how I keep my throat clear!Enough for today.

FUNNY DEFINATIONS OF THE DAY

School: A place where Father pays and Son plays.

Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.

Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.

Marriage: It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.

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