Thursday, July 31, 2008

THE CARTOON OF THE DAY THURSDAY JULY 31, 2008

That’s John McCain’s economic adviser! Whoaaaaa!!!

This cartoon is courtesy My friend Ben Hoffman. You can view his complete collection at http://benhoffman.wordpress.com/

THE JOKE OF THE DAY THURSDAY JULY 31, 2008

Once Banta wanted to know the time difference between Amritsar and Las Vegas.So he called up the Tourist department and asked them. “Ji..could you tell me the time difference between Amritsar and Las Begas…”
The man at the other end replies, “One second sir…”
Banta immediately replies “thank you” and puts the phone down.

THE JOKE OF THE DAY THURSDAY JULY 31, 2008

Santa: "Banta have you been in love?"
Banta: "Yes I have been in love but she is not responding. She keeps on saying I love u. Now I don't know who the hell is this U"

THE JOKE OF THE DAY THURSDAY JULY 31, 2008

PRINCIPAL: If I see any boy in girls hostel then he will be fined 100 bucks. Next time the boy is caught he has to pay 300 bucks"
Banta: "Can I get a monthly pass. It would be cheaper..."

THE JOKE OF THE DAY THURSDAY JULY 31, 2008

Santas Girlfriend asks him, "Darling, on our engagement will you give me a RING?"
Santa: "Ya sure, Give me ur telephone No..."

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QUOTE OF THE DAY

OSHO IN ONE OF HIS DISCOURSE:

Beloved marter, I feel shocked when you used the word fuck what to do?
Sargamo, it is one of the most beautiful words. The English language should be proud of it. I don't think any other language has such a beautiful word. One Tom from California has done some great research on it. I think he must be the famous Tom of Tom, Dick and Harry fame. He says: One of the most interesting words in the English language today is the word 'fuck'. It is one magical word: just by its sound it can describe pain, pleasure, hate and love. In language it falls into many grammatical categories. It can be used as a verb, both transitive (John fucked Mary) and intransitive (Mary was fucked by John), and as a noun (Mary is a fine fuck). It can be used as an adjective (Mary is fucking beautiful). As you can see there are not many words with the versatility of 'fuck'. Besides the sexual meaning, there are also the following uses: Fraud: I got fucked at the used car lot. Ignorance: Fucked if I know.Trouble: I guess I am fucked now! Aggression: Fuck you! Displeasure: What the fuck is going on here? Difficulty: I can't understand this fucking job. Incompetence: He is a fuck-off. Suspicion: What the fuck are you doing? Enjoyment: I had a fucking good time.Request: Get the fuck out of here!Hostility: I am going to knock your fucking head off!Greeting: How the fuck are you? Apathy: Who gives a fuck? Innovation: Get a bigger fucking hammer. Surprise: Fuck! You scared the shit out of me! Anxiety: Today is really fucked. And it is very healthy too. If every morning you do it as a Transcendental Meditation -- just when you get up, the first thing, repeat the mantra "Fuck you!" five times -- it clears the throat. That's how I keep my throat clear!Enough for today.

FUNNY DEFINATIONS OF THE DAY

School: A place where Father pays and Son plays.

Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.

Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.

Marriage: It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.

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