THE JOKE OF THE DAY FRIDAY AUGUST 8, 2008

A preacher was standing at the pulpit giving his Sunday sermon when a note was passed to him. The only word written on the sheet was IDIOT. Looking up at the congregation, the preacher smiled and said: "I have heard of men who write letters and forget to sign their names but this is the first time I will see a man sign his name and forget to write the letters."

THE JOKE OF THE DAY FRIDAY AUGUST 8, 2008

Santa and Banta went out for fishing and caught the biggest fish they have ever seen. Banta tells Santa to mark the spot, “We need to remember this spot so we can come back here again.”
Santa pulls a pen out of his pocket and makes a big ‘X’ on the bottom of his boat.
Banta looks at Santa, shaking his head in disgust. “You idiot - what if we bring another boat next time?”

THE JOKE OF THE DAY FRIDAY AUGUST 8, 2008

Santa and Banta went out fishing, but they could not manage to catch even a single fish all day. Then, another fisherman passes by with a huge load of fish. They ask him "excuse me, but where did you get all those fish?"
The other fisherman replies,” If you just go down the stream until the water isn't salty, there are a ton of hungry fish."
They thank him and go on their way. 15 minutes later, Banta tells Santa "fill the bucket up with water and see if the water is salty."
Santa dips the bucket in the stream and drinks some. "Nope. salty."
30 minutes later, Banta asks him to check again. "Nope, still salty."
One our later they check again. "Nope. Still salty."
"This isn't good," Banta finally says. "We have been rowing for almost two hours and the water is still salty!"
"I know," says Santa. "And the bucket is almost empty!"

THE JOKE OF THE DAY FRIDAY AUGUST 8, 2008

One day Santa came in to work with both of his ears bandaged. When his boss asked him what happened, he explained: "Yesterday I was ironing a shirt when the phone rangand I accidentally answered the iron instead of the phone!"

"Well," the boss said, "that explains one ear, but whatabout the other?"

Santa said, "They called back!"

THE JOKE OF THE DAY FRIDAY AUGUST 8, 2008

Santa and Banta were studing geology. They went on a field trip studying rock formations in Russia. They arranged for a pilot to fly them into a remote area, to collect some specimens. While they're there, they collect six large rock specimens to take back to the lab, for further analysis.
The pilot returns to pick them up and they start loading everything into the plane. When the pilot sees the rocks, he objects strenuously.
"Those rocks are too heavy," says the pilot, "the plane can only take four, so you have to leave two behind."
Both argue with the pilot, telling him that the year before, they had collected six similarly heavy rocks and the pilot had allowed them to put all of them aboard. This plane is the exact same model and capacity.
Reluctantly, the pilot permits them to put the whole lot onboard. But when they attempt to take off and leave the valley, the little plane can't carry the load. They have to make an emergency landing in the wilderness.
Climbing out of the wreckage, Banta asks Santa, "Any idea where we are?"
"Yeah, I think so," replies Santa. "Must be about the same place where we had to make the emergency landing last year!"

THE JOKE OF THE DAY FRIDAY AUGUST 8, 2008

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are taking a trip across a desert by hot-air balloon. There are not many landmarks; so eventually, they become lost. Luckily, while flying quite low, they see a man.
Holmes shouts, "Sir, could you please tell me where we are?"
The man looks up, ponders for a moment, and then answers, "Gentlemen, you are in a hot-air balloon!"
At this moment, a burst of wind picks up the balloon and carries it away.
Holmes turns to Watson and asks: "My friend, do you know who that man is?"
"No, Holmes, of course not!"
"He's a mathematician!"
"Holmes, that's incredible! But *how* do you know?"
"It's very simple, Watson. First of all, the man thought before giving us an answer. Secondly, his answer was absolutely correct. And thirdly, the answer he gave us was of no practical use, whatsoever!"

THE JOKE OF THE DAY FRIDAY AUGUST 8, 2008

Santa and Banta, were sitting outside a clinic. Santa happened to be crying very loudly.
"Why are you crying?" Banta asked.
"I came here for a blood test," sobbed Santa.
"So? Are you afraid?" said Banta
"No. For the blood test, they cut my finger."
As Banta heard this, he immediately began crying profusely.
Astonished, Santa stopped his tears and asked Banta, "Why are you crying now?"
To which Banta replied, "I came for a urine test!"