The Joke of the Day, Thursday, August 6, 2009

A man walks into a bar one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a beer. "Certainly, sir, that'll be 1 cent."
"One penny?!" exclaimed the guy.
The barman replied, "Yes."
So, the guy glances over at the menu, and he asks, "Could I have a nice juicy T-bone steak, with fries, peas, and a salad?"
"Certainly sir," replies the bartender, "but all that comes to real money."
"How much money?" inquires the guy. "Four cents," he replies.
"Four cents?!" exclaims the guy.
"Where's the guy who owns this place?"
The barman replies, "Upstairs with my wife."
The guy says, "What's he doing with your wife?"
The bartender replies, "Same as what I'm doing to his business."

The Joke of the Day, Tuesday, July 28, 2009

One day Santa was sitting in his office on the thirteenth floor building when a man came running in to his office and shouted "Banta Singh your daughter Preeto just died in an accident" Santa was in panic. Not knowing what to do he jumped from his office window.

While coming down when he was near the tenth floor he remembered he didn't have a daughter named Preeto.

When he was near the fifth floor he remembered he was not married.

When he was about to hit the ground he remembered he was not Banta Singh.

The Joke Of the Day

After making a trip of South India , Santa Singh ,his wife and his son were returning to punjab in Tamilnadu Express. Santa Singh was occupying the lower berth, his wife the middle berth and his son the top most berth in the train.

When the train stopped at one of the stations on the way back the son requested Santa Singh to bring him a cup of Ice cream to which Santa readily agreed.

When Santa and his son returned they found that a South Indian who couldn't understand hindi had occupied his son's birth . Outraged, Santa Singh called the TT and asked him to help. TT requested that he could not understand Hindi/Punjabi so it would be better if Santa Singh explained the whole situation to him in English.

Santa Singh explained , " That man sleeping on top of my wife is not giving birth to my child."

Funny Picture Of The Day

What if things don't go down easily

The Jokes Of The Day

When the light changed, a man stepped off the curb and started to cross the street. He had to jump backward when an SUV almost hit him.

The woman inside calmed the nine kids she was transporting from the soccer match, then she asked the man if he was okay.

"Lady!" he yelled. "Don't you know when to stop?"

She yelled back, "Hey! They're not ALL mine!"

The Joke Of The Day

Teacher to a third grade student: "Billy, if both of your parents were born in 1967, how old are they now?"

Billy: "It depends."

Teacher: "It depends on what?"

Billy: "It depends on whether you ask my father or my mother."

The Joke Of The Day

An old pastor lay dying. He sent a message for an IRS agent and his lawyer to come to the hospital. When they arrived, they were ushered up to his room.

As they entered the room, the pastor held out his hands and motioned for them to sit on each side of the bed. The pastor grasped their hands, sighed contentedly, smiled, and stared at the ceiling. For a time, no one said anything.

Both the IRS agent and lawyer were touched and flattered that the old man would ask them to be with him during his final moments. They were also puzzled because the pastor had never given any indication that he particularly liked either one of them.

Finally, the lawyer asked, "Pastor, why did you ask the two of us to come here?"

The old pastor mustered all his strength, then said weakly, "Jesus died between two thieves, and that's how I want to go."