The Joke Of The Day

Santa phoned his wife: I am not coming home.

The steering, dash board,

gears of car have been stolen.

After sometime he calls again: I am coming,

earlier I sat on the back seat.

The Joke Of The Day

Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatos 5 days ago,

he hasn't came back yet!

Santa: Why don't u cook something else? .

The Joke Of The Day

Santa: I have swallowed a Key.

Doctor: When? Santa: 3 months back!

Doctor: What were you doing till now?

Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too.

The Joke Of The Day

How did Santa tried to kill a bird??

He took it to the top of a building and dropped it from there to die.

The Joke Of The Day

Two days of powercut in Delhi had made life miserable.

Worst affected was Delhi Metro station where families of Santa & Banta were struck for 48 hrs on escalators.

The Joke Of The Day

Titanic was sinking.

An Englishman asked Santa, "How far is land"?

Santa: 2 KMs.

Englishman jumped into sea.

Englishman: Now, which direction?

Santa: Downwards !

The Joke Of The Day

Santa and his two friends are talking at a bar.

His first friend says, 'I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren't mine.'

His second friend says, 'I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber, the other day I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn't mine.'

Santa says, 'I think my wife is also having an affair with a horse.' Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief. 'No I'm serious. The other day I came home and found a jockey under our bed.'

THE JOKE OF THE DAY SATURDAY AUGUST 30, 2001

Santa and Banta have just started their job installing telegraph poles. At the end of the first week they both go to collect their wages and the boss tells Santa that he is dismissed.
"Why?" asks Santa.
"Well," said the boss "Banta has put in 50 poles this week and you have only done 5."
Santa looks rather perplex, and says, “but I have been planting them deeper than Banta.”

THE JOKE OF THE DAY SATURDAY AUGUST 16, 2008

A completely drunk Banta was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter.

A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk."
Banta asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?"
"Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the officer. "Let's go."
Breathing a sigh of relief, Banta said, "Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled."

THE JOKE OF THE DAY SATURDAY AUGUST 16, 2008

Banta was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife wasreally pissed.
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife wokeup, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a boxgift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new weighing machine.

THE JOKE OF THE DAY FRIDAY AUGUST 11, 2008

Santa and Banta are sitting and drinking beer when out of the blue Santa says, “I think I’m gonn a divorce my wife… she ain’t spoke to me in over a month.”

Banta sips his beer and says, “Better think over, women like that are hard to find.”

THE JOKE OF THE DAY FRIDAY AUGUST 9, 2008

Banta had a bit of a drinking problem. Every day, he would spend the entire evening at a local bar and arrived home, drunk, around midnight. He always had trouble getting his key into the keyhole and getting the door opened. His wife, waiting up for him, would go to the door and let him in. Then she would proceed to yell and scream at him for his constant nights out and his drunken state. But Banta continued his routine. One day, the wife, distraught by it all, spoke to a friend about her husband's behavior. The friend listened to her and then asked, "Why don't you treat him a little differently when he comes home? Instead of screaming and shouting at him, why don't you give him some loving words and welcome him home with a kiss? He then might change his ways."
The wife thought it was worth trying. That night, amidnight, when Banta arrived home in his usual condition. This time, instead of shouting her lungs out as she had always done, she took his arm and led him into the living room. She sat him down in an easy chair and took his shoes off. Then she went behind him and started to cuddle him a little. After a while, she said, "It's pretty late. I think we had better go upstairs to bed now, don't you?"
At that, Banta replied in his inebriated state, "I guess we might as well. I'll get in trouble if I go home anyway!"

THE JOKE OF THE DAY SATURDAY AUGUST 9, 2008

Banta was reading newspaper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with a frying pan. He asks, "What was that for?"
She says, "I found a piece of paper in your pocket with 'Basanti' written on it."
He says, "honey, remember last week when I went to the track? Basanti was the name of the horse I went there to bet on."
She shrugs and walks away. Three days later again when Banta is reading paper when his walks up and smacks him on the back of the head again with the frying pan. He asks, "What was that for?"
She answers, "Your horse called."

THE JOKE OF THE DAY SATURDAY AUGUST 9, 2008

Banta man went out for a winter vacation to Mumbai. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email. Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her email address, he did his best to type it in from memory.

Unfortunately, he missed one letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly woman, whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her email, she took one look at the monitor, screamed and fell to the floor

At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:

DEAREST WIFE: JUST GOT CHECKED IN. EVERYTHING PREPARED FOR YOUR ARRIVAL TOMORROW.

P.S. SURE IS HOT DOWN HERE.

THE JOKE OF THE DAY FRIDAY AUGUST 8, 2008

Santa and Banta went out for fishing and caught the biggest fish they have ever seen. Banta tells Santa to mark the spot, “We need to remember this spot so we can come back here again.”
Santa pulls a pen out of his pocket and makes a big ‘X’ on the bottom of his boat.
Banta looks at Santa, shaking his head in disgust. “You idiot - what if we bring another boat next time?”

THE JOKE OF THE DAY FRIDAY AUGUST 8, 2008

Santa and Banta went out fishing, but they could not manage to catch even a single fish all day. Then, another fisherman passes by with a huge load of fish. They ask him "excuse me, but where did you get all those fish?"
The other fisherman replies,” If you just go down the stream until the water isn't salty, there are a ton of hungry fish."
They thank him and go on their way. 15 minutes later, Banta tells Santa "fill the bucket up with water and see if the water is salty."
Santa dips the bucket in the stream and drinks some. "Nope. salty."
30 minutes later, Banta asks him to check again. "Nope, still salty."
One our later they check again. "Nope. Still salty."
"This isn't good," Banta finally says. "We have been rowing for almost two hours and the water is still salty!"
"I know," says Santa. "And the bucket is almost empty!"

THE JOKE OF THE DAY FRIDAY AUGUST 8, 2008

One day Santa came in to work with both of his ears bandaged. When his boss asked him what happened, he explained: "Yesterday I was ironing a shirt when the phone rangand I accidentally answered the iron instead of the phone!"

"Well," the boss said, "that explains one ear, but whatabout the other?"

Santa said, "They called back!"

THE JOKE OF THE DAY FRIDAY AUGUST 8, 2008

Santa and Banta were studing geology. They went on a field trip studying rock formations in Russia. They arranged for a pilot to fly them into a remote area, to collect some specimens. While they're there, they collect six large rock specimens to take back to the lab, for further analysis.
The pilot returns to pick them up and they start loading everything into the plane. When the pilot sees the rocks, he objects strenuously.
"Those rocks are too heavy," says the pilot, "the plane can only take four, so you have to leave two behind."
Both argue with the pilot, telling him that the year before, they had collected six similarly heavy rocks and the pilot had allowed them to put all of them aboard. This plane is the exact same model and capacity.
Reluctantly, the pilot permits them to put the whole lot onboard. But when they attempt to take off and leave the valley, the little plane can't carry the load. They have to make an emergency landing in the wilderness.
Climbing out of the wreckage, Banta asks Santa, "Any idea where we are?"
"Yeah, I think so," replies Santa. "Must be about the same place where we had to make the emergency landing last year!"

THE JOKE OF THE DAY FRIDAY AUGUST 8, 2008

Santa and Banta, were sitting outside a clinic. Santa happened to be crying very loudly.
"Why are you crying?" Banta asked.
"I came here for a blood test," sobbed Santa.
"So? Are you afraid?" said Banta
"No. For the blood test, they cut my finger."
As Banta heard this, he immediately began crying profusely.
Astonished, Santa stopped his tears and asked Banta, "Why are you crying now?"
To which Banta replied, "I came for a urine test!"

THE JOKE OF THE DAY MONDAY AUGUST 4, 2008

Banta decides to start up a chicken farm, so he buys hundred chicken to get up and running. A month later he returns to the dealer to get another hundred chickens because the first lot had died. Another month passes and he's back at the dealers for another hundred chickens,

"I think I know where I'm going wrong" he tells the dealer, "I think I'm planting them too deep."